When you go on a date with a guy, you’re super attracted to and vibing with, it can be difficult to see through what I call “the fog of love.”
You’re so into him that maybe you overlook that terribly creased shirt, that backhanded compliment, or the obvious reasons your relationship will never work.
That’s a huge part of my job as a dating coach. You can think of me as your big brother, making sure you’re reading between the lines and making good choices so that you end up with a guy who is a good long-term fit for you.
So, is it time to say, NEXT?!
If he has these signs, lean in. If he doesn’t, move on.
- He values your personality
Low-value men only look for short-term flings and are primarily concerned with a woman’s physical appearance. He has no interest in who you are or what you have to say because he’s not planning on sticking around long enough for it even to matter.
In contrast, high-value men are looking for something real. Usually, they’re old enough to have reached a point where they’re done with meaningless hookups, so a woman’s personality matters more to them.
He’ll look at how much fun he has around you, your sense of humor, interests, and passions.
- He will respect your opinion even if he disagrees with you
In every new relationship, there comes a time when you eventually have your first big fight. Until this point, you agreed on everything, and suddenly, you didn’t.
In this moment, he will either be very disrespectful (low value) or respect your viewpoint and be open that he disagrees (high value).
Remember, you don’t have to agree on everything – that’s impossible!
- He won’t be needy because he will have a life outside of the relationship
A high-value man will always have things going on outside of his romantic relationship. He will have an active professional life and an active social life. He will have other obligations and maybe even kids he regularly spends time with.
The bottom line is that he will remain independent even when he’s in a relationship and have other priorities besides you.
Sometimes, this can be difficult to deal with, but you both must have a life outside of each other because this creates a healthy relationship dynamic.
So take a look at your own life. Do you have a thriving career, a circle of friends you spend time with, hobbies you love, and other interests that keep you busy?
Remember, no amazing man will want a life with you unless you have an amazing life without him!
- He won’t play games and will be clear about what he wants when it comes to commitment
Look, he’s not going to tell you on a first date that he wants to commit to you because that’s not healthy!
But he won’t play games after a few months when commitment is naturally on the table. He won’t start saying he’s not sure if he wants a relationship or start messing with your head. A high-value man would be straightforward with you because he respects you and won’t have spent all this time with you if he didn’t see it going somewhere.
High-value relationships are clear and consistent.
- He presents himself well
Another of the signs you’re dating a high-value man is if he knows how to dress to impress, be comfortable in high-value environments, and shows up with the right energy.
I was working with a super high-value client, and she went on a date with a guy wearing these terrible, decade-old jeans ripped to shreds (and not in a good way). He had a low-value job and wasn’t presenting himself well.
She was making excuses for him and trying to justify why they were potentially a good match, and I told her it was time to say, NEXT!
- He will give you emotional support when you need it but call you out on your BS
I like to be with people who call me out on my BS and support me emotionally. Jessica is super supportive but always calls me out, and I like that. Don’t be a yes-woman because high-value men aren’t looking for this. They want to be with someone candid who challenges them when needed.
If you want that optimum balance of support and callouts, it requires being with a guy who is confident enough to speak up and disagree with you.
- The relationship will feel uncomplicated
The final sign that you’re with a high-value man is if everything feels easy most of the time. You should both be on the same page.
If a relationship is complicated in the early stages, there’s a good chance it’s not right for you.
Low-value men tend to always be in the middle of a mess, whether moving apartments, in the middle of a divorce, or transitioning jobs.
So be honest with yourself when you’re out there dating so that you leave room for the right guy to show up.
Have you ever wasted time in a low-value relationship? What would you do differently knowing what you know now?
Share your story with me in the comments below!