It’s no secret that first dates can be incredibly nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. Years ago, when dating, I’d get so nervous that I’d have to drink a ton of water on the date so that I didn’t feel so awkward!
Chances are you’re meeting someone you met online for the first time. That might fill you with anxiety because you have zero idea what’s going to happen.
What if he was great at texting and is a total psycho in real life?!
What if you have a mind blank, can’t think of anything to say, and sit silently for most of the date?
Did you know that most studies show that it takes between 3 seconds and a minute to judge whether we like someone and that we tend to uphold that decision forever?
So that first meet-up matters, but how can you calm down and focus on enjoying first dates?
Many people think they can’t control their nerves, but the good news is there are strategies you can use to ease your anxiety and go on a first date with the right type of energy.
Here are three tricks to make a first date more natural.
- Get your mindset into the right social state before a date
Have you ever gone out and you’re in that zen flow state? You’re charming the pants off everyone, saying all the right things, and you’re on fire.
On the flip side, have you ever gone out and not been in the mood? It doesn’t matter where you are or who’s around you; you don’t want to be there, you feel disconnected, and everyone can sense it.
This is proof that socializing is a mindset. It’s all about how you feel. And getting to that peak social state is something you have total control over.
I recommend you get socially warmed up before heading to your date, whether you head to a different bar first, high-five some strangers, or flirt with the barman.
It’s the same principle as physically warming up your body before a heavy workout at the gym. If you don’t do that first, your body can easily get injured, making it much harder to complete your workout.
Have a go at getting socially warmed up before your next date.
- Have a story from your day ready to go
One of the most common questions people ask early on a first date is, “how was your day?”
You don’t want to reply with something boring or negative like, “it was okay,” or “my boss was being a jerk as usual.”
So come prepared with a fun, positive, and interesting story.
Maybe you had an entertaining conversation with someone at work, or you found an amazing coffee shop on your lunch break that sells the best baguettes you’ve ever had (like, better than Parisian baguettes).
If it happened yesterday or a couple of days ago, that’s okay too.
The final trick to make a first date more natural is to “smalk,” which means smile while talking.
A lot of dating advice tells women to just smile at their date, which is strange. But smiling while talking makes you appear warm and charismatic and greatly affects how someone receives what you say. Plus, it will signal to him that you’re interested.
Have you got a first date coming up?
Try out some of these strategies, and tell me what happens in the comments below!