They say that when you meet the right man, “you just know.” But let’s be honest, that’s not very helpful advice! Especially if you’ve chosen the wrong men in the past but thought they were right for you. That’s not to say you shouldn’t trust your intuition—you should. Use your head and your heart. But don’t let yourself zone out in a daydream of who you want this man to be and who you think he can be in the future. Pay attention to what’s right in front of you. Study his actions rather than his words.
Finding the right man is a different experience for every woman, and it might take you a little longer than you would’ve liked. But when you finally meet the right person, something will click. Dates with him will feel different from all those other dates you went on. It will feel natural and comfortable. Time will seem to stop, while simultaneously whizzing past in a flash.
22 things that happen when you meet the right man
1. The conversation flows
Sometimes you can go on a bad date, and in the back of your mind, you’re thinking about how to keep the conversation going. It has a jolting, stop/start feel to it. You never really get going.
Alternatively, the first thing that happens when you meet the right man is conversation flows between you like you’re old friends. You move from talking about your love for the ballet to what you think aliens look like to how great cheese is, and it doesn’t feel weird in the slightest. In fact, you have some of the most relaxed yet animated and enjoyable conversations with him.
2. But silence feels comfortable
Even though you’ve got plenty to say to each other, when a natural pause crops up in your conversation, it doesn’t feel awkward. The more you date a guy, the more you’ll notice this. You’re trying to learn as much as possible about each other on the first few dates, and the conversation will tend to be fast and fiery. But as you spend more time together, you’ll have more low-key days where not a whole lot happens. The thing to look out for here is if you’re still enjoying his company in these moments. Because if you are, and you don’t feel the need to always be busy together, this is a good sign.
Who knew silence could feel so comforting?
3. You can be your true self
Do you feel confident enough with him to share your guilty pleasures, like watching The Bachelor while eating gummy bears? When a song you love comes on the radio in the car with him, do you let yourself burst out in song? Are you comfortable with him seeing you in sweatpants, without makeup on, and your hair pulled up in a messy bun?
Naturally, you want to make a great impression when dating new people. But when you meet the right man, the need to always be “on” and “perfect” will fade away. You will feel accepted and loved, whether dressed up to the max, looking sexy as hell, or vegging out on the sofa in your PJs. Because you know that he loves the real you. In the words of John Legend, “aaaaalllll of him loves aaaaalllll of you.”
4. You listen to each other
While you’ll likely share many interests, opinions, and values (more on that later), it’s unrealistic to expect that you’ll be aligned on everything. Not only would that be very strange, but it would also be very boring! But regardless of who you’re voting for in the next election or how you feel about pineapple on pizza, you accept each other’s differences.
You actively and patiently listen to and hear each other out. You do your best to empathize and understand where the other is coming from. There are no arguments about petty differences, and your differences do not change how you feel about each other.
5. He brightens your day
When you’re going through a major challenge in your business, you receive sad news from your family, or you’re just feeling down in the dumps, he’s there. When you meet the right man, not only will he be there for you during the dark times, he will lift your spirits. One phone call, one bear hug, one Oscar-worthy pep talk later, and it genuinely feels like everything is going to be okay. You don’t know how he does it, but the world feels more hopeful and sunny with him.
6. You share core values
What are core values? Put simply, they’re a set of principles, beliefs, and desires that shape how we feel, think, act, and ultimately live our lives. Whether you realize it or not, your values affect your personal life, career, and relationships.
Knowing your values helps you better understand yourself and build a life that aligns with those values. But this requires a lot of reflection and honesty, which isn’t easy.
The right man will embody values important to you (this is why I recommend creating a love vision, so you know what you’re looking for). Plus, he will be aligned with you on the big things like where you want to live, how you manage your money, whether you want to get married and have kids, how you want to raise your kids, and so on.
If you’re not aligned on issues like these, your relationship will eventually come to a natural conclusion. Better to end it sooner rather than later—your time is precious!
7. He respects you
When you meet the right man, you will feel respected. Small things like him giving you space when you ask for it and not trying to rush things in the bedroom are signs of true respect. It’s easy for a man to say he respects you, but what matters is if he shows you that he respects you.
And it’s not just you he respects. He respects all women, which is a good sign that you’re dating one of the good guys rather than one claiming, “I’m a good guy.”
But remember, it’s also on you to set boundaries and stick to them. If he does disrespect you, don’t allow him to do it again.
8. You make each other laugh
Let’s be honest—relationships are hard work, even when you’re with someone you think the world of. But one of the best signs you have met the right man is when life throws you a massive curve ball, and you can work through it together while still making each other laugh. During those times when you don’t know whether to laugh or cry, if you find yourself smiling and laughing, and it’s mostly because of him, you’re stronger than many couples. Don’t underestimate the power of laughter!
9. You can (and do) talk about anything
I believe in being sincerely candid with one another, even when it’s hard.
For example, let’s say the guy in question is not the best at tidying up after himself. Used dishes and old coffee cups are piled in the sink when you return home after a long day. His dirty socks never quite make it to the laundry basket. And practically every morning he goes through the same dance of not being able to find his keys/wallet/phone/sunglasses/AirPods (insert important personal belongings here).
If you’re a tidy, organized woman, this will quickly drive you bananas. And if you don’t talk about it, the issue will quietly fester until one day, you find his keys in the freezer, and you explode. “It’s not about the keys, Jeffrey, it’s about what the keys represent.”
When you meet the right man, you’ll be able to talk about little things, big things, and everything in between. Strong communication is essential to the success of every long-term relationship.
10. He knows you very well
When you’re at a party together can he always sense when you feel uncomfortable or drained and are desperate to leave? Does he figure it out when something is stressing you out, but you don’t want to bother him with it? Does he do thoughtful things for you, like put the cozy fairy lights on in the house and have a glass of your favorite red wine waiting for you after a big day at work?
When you meet the right man, he will be in tune with your mood and an expert on your feelings. He knows when something’s wrong without you saying a word. Better still, he knows how to cheer you up and melt your stress away.
11. You feel safe with him
It’s biological for men to want to protect the people they love, even more so for alpha men. When you meet the right man, you’ll notice the lengths he goes to to make sure you’re safe. He’ll get up in the middle of the night when there’s a strange noise, baseball bat in hand, ready to take someone down. He’ll make sure he’s walking closer to the traffic on the sidewalk when you’re together. And he’ll always text you after a date to make sure you got home safely.
There may have been guys in the past who filled you with anxiety, fear, or insecurity, but this man is your safe haven.
12. Your intuition will tell you
You could meet the most amazing man who is kind, intelligent, funny, and sexy, yet there’s that je ne sais quois missing. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something deep inside tells you he’s not the man for you.
Similarly, when you meet the right man, you will feel it in your bones.
If you’re torn in two ways and aren’t sure if he’s the one, then he’s probably not.
13. You help each other grow
In a relationship, it’s important to work on yourselves, your goals, and your dreams and grow as individuals. But for a relationship to thrive, you also have to grow together. That means encouraging each other to be better than you were the day before. Calling each other out if you’re falling short or need to step things up. Celebrating each other’s successes and being there during the failures and mistakes.
We all have unique strengths and weaknesses, and the right man will high-five you on your strengths while also helping you develop your weaknesses. Most of the time, love is unromantic like this!
14. He keeps you balanced
When you’re pushing extra hard in your business, ready for an upcoming launch, he’s cooking dinner, massaging your shoulders, and ensuring you get enough sleep. Or when you’re feeling a little tired, low-energy, or down with the flu, he’s bringing you chicken noodle soup and trying his best to do the washing without turning all the white towels pink.
When you meet the right man and enter the right relationship, you will feel a constant state of harmony and balance. It sounds cheesy, but you are a dream team.
15. You’re excited to tell people about him
A lot of people come from dysfunctional families. If you’re one of those people, it’s not your fault, and you have the power to end that toxic cycle with you.
But family dynamics aside, when you meet the right man, you’ll be so excited about him that you want to tell anyone who will listen! Your family, friends, and the beautician who’s doing your nails. You can’t help; you’re excited and have every right to be! Don’t let any downers kill your vibe.
In contrast, if you’re apprehensive about introducing your man to your nearest and dearest, or you’ve got a holiday planned and haven’t told anyone, something’s not quite right. Maybe you’re not taking the relationship seriously? Maybe in your heart, you don’t believe it will last?
Be honest with yourself.
16. You both compromise
Healthy, loving relationships involve compromising, not sacrificing.
What do I mean by that?
It’s unfair if one person is constantly having to bend to the other’s whims, give up their dreams and goals, and move to whatever town their partner’s career takes them. This is a one-sided relationship, and it will always end in resentment because one person’s needs are not being met.
When you meet the right man, you’ll work together to navigate challenges and make your share of compromises to ensure you’re both happy and fulfilled.
17. You both put in the work so your relationship can flourish
Relationships that last are not built on Tiffany jewelry, surprise trips to Paris, and fancy weddings. Are these things nice to have? Sure. But the key to all successful long-term relationships is hard work. Anyone who tells you otherwise is doing you a disservice. Sorry to burst this bubble, but love is not enough.
Yes, you’ve got to feel a spark and that attraction with your partner. But that’s just one fraction of what it takes to make things work.
When you meet the right man, you will both be committed to your relationship. And this will be clear in how you show up for each other every day.
18. You struggle to keep secrets from each other
Remember what I said earlier about candid communication?
Have you ever been with a guy who has told you little white lies? Over time, the lies might’ve grown into juicy, fat ones. Or maybe you’re the one guilty of telling a few porkie pies here and there to protect a secret.
The problem with this is it will always catch up with you. One small lie means you must remember the lie you told forever, so you don’t slip up on what you said. Continue manipulating the truth this way, and it’s not long before there are far too many secrets to keep track of.
When you meet the right man, you’ll quickly find that bottling anything up becomes incredibly uncomfortable. It doesn’t take long before you have to get it off your chest, blurt it all out and come clean. And he’s the same with you.
19. When something good or bad happens, he’s the first person you call
Landed yourself a big new client today—who you gonna call?
Managed to pick up a batch of his favorite choc-chip cookies from the local bakery before they all sold out—who you gonna call?
Managed to whip up a delicious lasagne even though you usually burn the house trying to make toast—who you gonna call?
Whether it’s amazing news or terrible news, you reach for the phone to call him. He does the same with you. It’s not needy or codependent; it’s a closeness that only happens when you’re with someone you love dearly.
20. He’s your best friend
When you finally meet the right person, he will become your very best friend. Even though there are friends and family members who have known you many years more, there’s a good chance he knows you better than all of them. You have a close, indescribable bond, and you feel you can be vulnerable with one another without fear of being judged.
21. You have a shared vision of the future
For a relationship to work long-term, you need to be on the same page regarding the big things. We talked about this earlier. And when you are aligned on those things and in a committed relationship, you can start building a shared life vision. This is what I call Little Love Step #7. It’s about aligning your relationship with the life you want to build and communicating at every stage.
When you meet the right man, having conversations like these will feel natural. The vision you both have for your future will feel exciting and right.
22. You’re willing to let each other go
The final sign you’ve met the right man?
I don’t want to end on a downer here, but in a healthy, loving relationship, you both want what’s best for each other. The minute it becomes one-sided or something is forced, the relationship will start to die. Love does not always last. People change. We grow. We want different things than we did ten years ago. And sometimes that means we have to say goodbye to a relationship.
If being alone rather than with you is best for your partner, you should want that and be willing to let him go. He should be ready to do the same.
Of course, a breakup would hurt you both. But it’s better to feel that temporary pain than the long-term suffering of being in a relationship that someone doesn’t truly want to be in.
Do you think you’ve finally met the right man? What are the clear signs? Tell me your story below.